Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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