no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Randomize