If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
