i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
