my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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