How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Every concussion has its silver lining
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
