Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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