K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
