She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
