i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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