Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
