Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
