I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
