I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize