The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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