How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
