I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Randomize
