The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
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