was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Randomize
