yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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