you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Randomize