mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.