Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning