life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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