I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so let's talk penis.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
