I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
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I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
In other news, I just burned my penis
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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