Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Randomize
