I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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