and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
