Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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