if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
