At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
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I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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