he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
