I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
