He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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