so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
