I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
