I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
