So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
