She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
