I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
