$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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