I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
