If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
love makes seman taste better
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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