Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
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