please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
