it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
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Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
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just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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