'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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