So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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