She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize