whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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