I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize