...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
