Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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