I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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