so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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