dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
