Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
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The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
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Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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