i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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