GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize