Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She needs sedatives and a leash
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
